Well, it’s the holidays and what better time for a holiday version of “You Might Be A Beer SNOB If…” Here’s 25 telltale signs that the craft malted goodness means a lot to you.
1. You gift wrap beer.
2. Saint Nick can’t make it down your chimney because its filled with sacks of malt for your Schlenkerla clone.
3. At holiday beer exchanges you avoid the oil can shaped gift.
4. You leave cookies and milk stout out for St. Bernardus.
5. You get misty-eyed when a friend gives you an out-of-market vintage brew.
6. The cold weather is a good excuse for you to unplug your keggerator.
7. You converted to Judaism for Lompoc’s 8 Malty Nights.
8. You are devout and visit the Horse Brass each year on Christmas.
9. A Sam Adams Christmas variety pack is always “just your size.”
10. You remember when Jack Frost was nipping.
11. The presents you desire are made by a bearded man with a belly full of jelly and his assistants.
12. You put Fred From the Wood in your nog.
13. You wish Hair of the Dog and Seven Brides would make a collaborator called DeSantis Claws.
14. You have enjoyed Celebrations from different years all in one day.
15. You feel sad for the misrepresentation of Clydesdales.
16. You’ve drunk Yellow snow and liked it.
17. Your concept of a perfect nightcap consists of a snifter of barleywine by the fireplace.
18. You look for Blitzen at Rock Bottom and New Old Lompoc.
19. You’ve traveled to Marin expecting a White Christmas.
20. Your favorite part of New Years Day is that your cellar just got a little more impressive.
21. You’ve replaced the yule log with Yule Smith.
22. When you are in McMinnville you start singing “Oh Tannen Bomb!”
23. You celebrate St. Stephen’s Day with beer from the oldest brewery in the world.
24. You’ve used your tree to make a Sahti.
25. The idea of an elf in a straight jacket makes you thirsty.